Victorious Faith

I'm an Overcomer!

Dawsen Kyler –

Where to begin with such a story of a perfect miracle. . . .  There is much to tell that is only Dawsen's to tell when he is ready someday, but one thing we want to share is the story behind his name.

Gianna sported a proud grin while holding Dawsen the other day and said "This is our baby."  I replied that indeed, he is. Then she said, "Actually, he's God's baby."  The now familiar lump in my throat was suddenly there again.  "Yes, you're right, Gianna. He is God's baby." Wisdom beyond her 4 1/2 years.  In her unique style, she lightened the conversation with "I think God is looking for him," as Dawsen began to squirm and whine in her arms.  Ha ha!  I guess that could be taken in a couple of different ways, but I prefer to think that the Holy Spirit was speaking through her sweet innocence, confirming in my heart that He does have plans for Dawsen.  He's already in hot pursuit of his heart as He has been for the rest of ours.  Dawsen's first mama also believes that God has special plans for him and looks forward to seeing how they unfold.  She helped us choose his middle name, a name that we and the girls voted for and love.

If you've been following our adoption story since our announcement last year, you might remember that we chose the theme “Overcomer” for this school year, before we knew what riches the year would hold. Because God has made it clear many times that this journey is His gig, and He will be the one to overcome the adoption obstacles, it seemed appropriate to look for a first name meaning overcomer, or similar.  We came across many possibilities, most of them uninteresting or reminiscent of somebody's grumpy old uncle. After narrowing the names down to a few, we kept coming back to one meaning "Son of the Beloved" or "Victorious."  Not exactly overcomer, but close.

Since settling on Dawsen as our future son’s first name, my heart has pondered why we were drawn to that name. We’re not believers in accidents or chance, but in a Father who has vested interest in every single one of His children.  Each one of our first 5 kids has a name with meaning, chosen for them by God Himself, though we didn’t necessarily see it at the time.  I cannot know the full “why” of anything in the here and now, but I do find it interesting that the passage of Scripture I chose to go along with our Overcomer theme is I John 5:1-5 –

Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has been born of God, and everyone who loves the Father loves whoever has been born of him. ² By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey his commandments. ³ For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome. ⁴ For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. ⁵ Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?

In the words of hymn writer John Yates, “Faith is the victory!” As Scott wrote here a few months ago, this adoption journey is actually a faith journey – faith in an immensely good and loving God, no matter our circumstances; faith in the only true Overcomer:  Jesus – friend of sinners, God in flesh, victor over sin and death, healer of our very souls. Only He could take our brokenness and make beauty such as our adoption miracle. He fought and won the battle for our son’s life before we ever knew of him, and the love of Jesus set us on this adventure before Dawsen’s first mama knew of him.

This adoption journey has further solidified for us that EVERY life is a beautiful gift with purpose. When we choose faith in a loving and good Father, regardless of what flavour of pain He chooses for us, that faith gives us victory in discovering our purpose, one leg of the life journey at a time.

Faith is both a choice and a gift. Dawsen’s first mama chose to have faith that God has plans for him, and in doing so, she became victorious over her impossible circumstances and gave us a priceless gift of faith. His short life has increased our faith incredibly. He is a little bit of the “why” in a much larger story than we know – one that began several millennia ago, but for us we’ll say it began with our first miracle, Gabriella, and has continued now for over 11 years. That is a story for another blog post.

We are now 6 miracles deep and are overwhelmed at God’s wisdom and kindness in ALL of them. This latest sweet miracle, our Victorious Son of the Beloved, leaves us even more in awe of Grace Himself – Jesus – and grateful beyond words for the gift of VICTORIOUS FAITH!

Dawsen Kyler Arrives

And according to plan...Little went according to plan.

It is therapeutically hot here in the desert.  The locals are basking in the relatively low temperatures, and assure us that, "It gets much hotter than this."  We are enjoying the uninterrupted sunshine, the desert scenery, and the three community pools.  Except, in our haste to get out of town, I forgot swim shorts.

We had anticipated making this trip "anytime now," though we really didn't expect to leave until at least next Monday - the due date.  It was a great plan - but not the real plan.  We knew the real plan would not be one of our choosing, but it was fun to pretend anyway.

So pretend we did.  As the date loomed nearer, we rushed about for weeks in a sort of triage, first clearing the most critical items from the list: car seat, tiny clothes, bottles; while simultaneously covering the secondary items, such as: complete the construction and installation of bunk-beds and shelves, repaint kids rooms, new carpet; and finally as the countdown dropped into single digits, we contacted vacation rentals in Arizona and local friends to keep the girls - letting both know that we could be mobilizing at a moment's notice.

And then as abruptly as we had anticipated, the call came - the mother of our new son was going into the hospital RIGHT NOW for an emergency Cesarean.  Bec immediately began calling and texting me, upon which I replied that, "I'm in a meeting."  That proved to be inadequate to stem the tide of her desire to communicate, and I was soon brought on track.  That was 2:00 on Tuesday - 6 days before the due date.

I was on the phone before I left the parking lot, and was co-orchestrating an impressive getaway during the one-hour drive home. What happened next would have been more difficult 20 years ago.  Friends were contacted via cell phone and text message and we coordinated 3 different families to help care for our girls. (I was not texting while driving.) Kayak.com helped secure a last minute plane ticket.

Within 3 hours our amazing friends had rescheduled their life and Emi was at our house picking up the girls.  Another friend, Grandma Teri B., volunteered to keep the girls for 2 nights, and Grandma and Grandpa solidified arrangements to arrive on Saturday.  I finalized accommodations at a vacation rental - which if you ever need, we can highly recommend - Bec bought a one-way plane ticket for herself, and we all, the girls included, began throwing everything that looked important into a suitcase or bag.

A text message from the mother's attorney brought us the distraught face of a brand new baby boy.  That picture accelerated us more - if that was possible.  At 5:45, we were on the highway again.  I dropped Bec off in Oakland for a 7:15pm flight to Arizona, and a short cab ride to the hospital.  I kept going for the dark 12-hour drive through California's Central Valley, and the southern deserts.

Bec arrived at the hospital around 9:30pm and was able to spend most of the night with our brand new baby boy and his first mother.  I arrived in rush hour traffic the next morning with breakfast from McDonalds for Bec and a Dr Pepper for the mommy.

We spent the first night in our condo, alone.  Baby and mommy were able to spend a night together at the hospital.  Dawsen was discharged the next day around noon, and we immediately took him shopping for the first of a series of lists of things we had forgotten, then "home."

Friday afternoon, the paperwork was finalized and we officially added a little boy to our family.  Now we wait for Arizona and California, the attorneys, and the bureaucracy in general to allow us to travel back home.

Above is the travel log and the skeleton of this post.  What is not recorded above is the emotional roller coaster we rode.  Those roller coasters are familiar to all who dare to take an adventure, yet when it is your turn to ride, you are never quite prepared.  I refer to the wonderful gal that gave birth on Tuesday as Dawsen's mother.  This may seem odd to you, as it once did to me, since yesterday she terminated her own rights to claim Dawsen as her son, and Becky officially became his mother.  That is part of the roller coaster.

The woman that carried our son and loved him as only a mother can, for nearly nine months, is cherished by Becky and me.  Her difficult choices did not start nine months ago, they started many years ago.  Some choices were poor, and others were wise and kind beyond comprehension.  The life of the baby that we now sit up with at night was an amazingly wise and kind choice - and unimaginably painful for her.

We are more aware than ever that we are loved and guided by a kind Father, who knows our weaknesses, our composition of dust, our sin, and our flailing efforts, and still guides His dear children along.

The plans that we made - the plans that we continue to make, are not ours but His.

I was running along a scenic section of trail near our home on an early morning a few days before we left town.  I had just reached the top of the trail and was headed down a long descent with the Carquinez Strait on my right and the spray of wildflowers speckling the green hills all around me, when Brandon Heath's "It is Well," came up on my play list.  All I could think was how awesome it is to be able to sing along - indeed it is well with my soul.  Becky and I continue to thank our kind God that it is well - all is good.