Time passes and priorities shift. This blog fell low on the list. But this post is important and needs to be recorded.
This post originated as a Facebook message Becky sent out in the dead of night - 2:41am to be exact.
I've left the post intact, but for those not familiar with our family a quick note:
Ezekiel, Sam (or Samantha - we don't know), Glorietta, and Faith are our beloved children who's first glimpse of light, was the shining face of Jesus.
Today, I'm trying!
At this spot in my life journey, I'm realizing that 20
years really is not a long time. I mean, I just finished
my degree yesterday and was about to start my career
as an Interior Designer..... Um, nope. That was actually
20 years ago....a very short 20 years ago.
Thanks to God's grace, I am no longer *that* 23-year-
old! (To those of you clapping and thanking God along
with me, it's okay - I am very sorry! So many people
have been gracious to me throughout my life!)
BUT, neither am I who I want to be.
Jesus started a fire in that 23-yr-old heart that has, at
times, been unbearably hot as He works on me, His
beloved artwork. The family that He gave me since
then is my greatest life blessing...and - through no fault
of their own - the greatest source of my growth.
In my 30's, how I begged God to heal my secondary
infertility and allow me to have another child! I never
guessed that He would not only give me one, but the
latest count is SEVEN more children! He's got 4 of
them with Him, safe and sound from this broken world,
and He has entrusted Scott and me with the privilege
of guiding 4 souls through the brokenness.
Did I say privilege?? That's what I want it to be, but
too often I am weary, worn out with fighting against
the brokenness in me and my 4 priceless gifts, to
remember the privilege part of parenting.
My children each have a different story that my
Father has beautifully written, and their names
begin to tell their stories:
1) Gabriella, our first miracle, means "God is my
strength." She is credited with paving the way for her
younger siblings. Poor thing!
2) Ezekiel......today is his 10th birthday and goodbye
day......Means "God strengthens." 3) Gianna, our joy
bell ringing in our hearts through the pain of deep loss,
means "God is gracious."
4) Sam means "God has heard." At this point we
were kinda surprised at how well He had heard my
prayers for another child!
5) Glorietta Janice is our "glory pearl" reminding
us once again that "God is gracious." After burying
another tiny soul in a tiny coffin, picking out another
headstone to acknowledge her short life, my heart
was done. My body was done. Thankfully, my
soul was not yet done. God promised to complete
the work He began.
So the work continues. And did you notice? God has
built in reminders for our family that HE alone is the
source of our strength and grace.
The boys - oh, these boys. They have completely stolen
our hearts and greatly deepened our understanding of
true love and the need for Jesus to heal brokenness.
6) Dawsen, our first adoption miracle, means
"Victorious." His name reminds us that Jesus has the
victory already in possession. We get to be part of
that victory! Pretty hard to remember sometimes as
we learn to accept Autism as a part of how God wired
this sweet, victorious boy.
7) Darius, a name of Persian kings, means "holder
or supporter." He is a reminder that in Jesus we are
royalty, no matter what our circumstances. There
are some precious things about this busy 2-year-old
that help me glimpse why God chose a name for him
meaning "holder or supporter." If you could see him
with his siblings, you would know what I mean.
8) And last but not least, as a reminder of the
thread tying us altogether as a family, God gave us
Faith. Our family could not exist without faith, for
without faith it is impossible to please the One who
loves us more than I could ever love Scott and my
8 children combined.
So today, on the 10th birthday of the boy who
rocked the Swinton world for the better, I am trying
to remember how fleeting time really is.....to look
at the young gifts in my home not as projects or
responsibilities, but as amazing, beautiful, priceless
works of art created by Jesus, the Author and
Finisher of our faith..... specifically created for the
sanctification (or beautification) of the Swinton family.
In deep gratitude, I choose to enjoy them
and believe Him.
He is worthy!
