Sorry, this is long... But if you have a couple of minutes to humor me, I'd love to share something.... ❤️
56 “Praise the Lord who has given rest to his people Israel, just as he promised. Not one word has failed of all the wonderful promises he gave through his servant Moses. 57 May the Lord our God be with us as he was with our ancestors; may he never leave us or abandon us. 58 May he give us the desire to do his will in everything and to obey all the commands, decrees, and regulations that he gave our ancestors. 59 And may these words that I have prayed in the presence of the Lord be before him constantly, day and night, so that the Lord our God may give justice to me and to his people Israel, according to each day’s needs. 60 Then people all over the earth will know that the Lord alone is God and there is no other.61 And may you be completely faithful to the Lord our God. May you always obey his decrees and commands, just as you are doing today.”
These words were spoken by King Solomon at a high point in Israel's history. Anyone who has even briefly studied this nation's history knows that God did not choose the Israelites for their constant faithfulness and deep love for Him. It would be interesting to see how things would have turned out had they stayed in a faithful, obedient posture of praise as displayed here in the glorious view of their brand new temple. However, that was not God's plan, or Israel's natural bent.
Millenia ago, God began to tell the story of humanity at large by blessing a man named Abraham with faith and promises. His family grew exponentially and was favored by God, but many times throughout history, a cycle repeated itself: the people of Israel gratefully received blessing, became forgetful and complacent, followed people and worshipped idols instead of Jehovah, and walked away from Him altogether, eventually even rejecting and crucifying Love Himself -- Jesus the Redeemer.
Just like Israel, we are made and chosen by God to experience favor and unconditional love, but then we too walk away -- daily more concerned about our own perceived needs (often for valid reasons), than about anyone or anything else. We imagine that any success God allows is because we did and said the right things, and any failures result from our simple humanness, perhaps even vengeance from our Creator. When we're doing our very best and everything seems to relentlessly crash in on us, we are quick to place blame on the One who is supposed to be always watching and working things out for our good -- if we choose to believe that He exists at all. It is far too easy for us to coast along when all is well, forgetting the pleasure of investing in our relationship with Him, until He allows desperate circumstances that bring us to our knees with pleadings for a way out.
All the time, Father is there -- patiently waiting for us to allow Him to reveal His limitless love to us. Sometimes all we have to do is choose to open our eyes in recognition that His goodness and kindness have been with us all along the way, and suddenly the heavens are opened with light illuminating our path out of the darkness of pain and hopelessness. Other times, we have to forcefully choose to believe what we suspect is the truth -- in spite of the seeming abundance of evidence otherwise -- that our God is good ALL of the time, that He hears our pleas, and that He is carefully taking care of every detail of our lives. The darkness of that blind trust is overwhelming as we take step after step, not knowing how our path will turn out or how we will ever survive it. This...THIS place is where I -- and many of my dear family and friends -- often find ourselves these days.
If you are reading this, nodding your head, then you know already that living in one-day-at-a-time mode (or moment-by-moment) is exhausting! Exhausting at every level. The year 2018 can be defined for me by that one word. This phase of the Swinton journey started several years ago. At that point, I remember looking ahead and knowing the path would get hard and scary, but whenever I brought that up with Father, He would gently answer, "I will help you do what I've asked you to do." That's His answer to me still today, and I can look back over the last several years and testify that He speaks truth -- only truth.
One day last week, I woke up to the words quoted above from I Kings 8. This weary mama had just gotten 4 solid hours of sleep! I'm talking NO interruptions for 4 hours! Now, I realize that my circumstances are not as difficult as others, and I have much to be grateful for, but good sleep has been...ummm...challenging for quite some time. As you might imagine, this makes daily life even more complicated than it is already, so 4 solid hours of sleep can inspire deep gratitude in my soul! Don't get me wrong -- blessings abound in the Swinton household -- but some of those blessings are persistent reminders of how small and incapable I am. Humbling, to say the least.
I have never felt so dependent on the strength and wisdom of Jesus' Spirit as I do in our present circumstances. Looking ahead makes me despair as I glimpse how much difficulty still lies ahead, and looking behind makes me despair as I rehearse the horrid mistakes I have made in my ignorance and exhaustion. The only way to find rest in not-so-restful circumstances is to remember.
Remember that God promises to give me rest and "Not one word has failed of all the wonderful promises he gave..." (v. 56).
Remember that He will never leave me or abandon me (v. 57), even after all of those horrid mistakes, and even if those future difficulties are realized.
Remember that my prayers (mine!) are always on His mind, and each day is covered with His grace for each need, including walking in His ways instead of mine (vv. 58-9).
Remember that no matter what I believe in this particular hard moment, someday ALL "will know that the Lord alone is God and there is no other" (v. 60).
Remember that He is doing exactly what He said -- helping me do what He has asked me to do (v. 61).
This is REST, dear ones who are in a similar journeying place. Thank you, Jesus, for making a way to rest. There is no one else and nothing else!
