Overcomer

Becky chose "I am an Overcomer" as the theme for the girls' new school year.  She then mentioned that it seemed an appropriate theme for our entire family.  I mumbled something like, "sure, whatever."

Then my next thought was - "what have you done to us now..."  In order to be an overcomer, one must have obstacles to overcome - yes?  I am not interested in more obstacles, and I felt I had been clearing most of my obstacles rather smartly, thank you very much.  What was she wishing upon us, or what did she see coming that I was missing?

Well the adoption for one.  We had talked on and off about adoption over the years, but it has now come up before us as a real possibility, and very soon.  More about that at another time.  Suffice to say that reams of adoption paperwork, endless professional appointments, and meticulous home study preparation are all in the process of being overcome.  Add a baby to the mix sometime soon, and we will have full blown overcoming on our hands.

But dear me, this, like most of the other obstacles we face, have been erected by our own hands.  There have been few obstacles in our path that have not had the foundations poured, framework erected, and been fully adorned by anyone other than ourselves.  This results in part from our own foolishness certainly, though I think there is a more agreeable reason much of the time, or at least a composite of the two.  That is, that ground deep into our nature is the understanding that most really good things can only come as a result of hard work.  Frankly, even the "just sort of good" and "pretty good" things in life need at least a modicum of effort expended in their direction to become reality.  When we want something enough, we are normally willing to overcome some obstacles along the course we take to get at it.

But those are not the obstacles that prove most troublesome.  The troublesome ones are those which we did not, yea, could not see coming.  For example,  adoption is a large obstacle placed by ourselves into our own path, and we are patiently scaling it one handhold and one toe hold at a time.  Troublesome will be finding that a baby is waiting to be adopted, we have 1 week to prepare, I am in the middle of 3 large projects at work, the line of credit has been tapped out, the only bathtub in the house has sprung a leak, and the girls both have the flu.  And that really won't be too difficult until we discover that the neighbor's cats have recommenced using the front flower beds as a litter box.  That will become an adamant wall over which even super-heroes such as we are, cannot fly.

But then, of course, we will.  By God's grace we will mount up on those Isaiah 40:31 wings and soar right on over, or at least that's what it will look like in retrospect when we tell it to our children with a sigh somewhere ages and ages hence - thank you Robert Frost.  But our Road not Taken will sure look like the better path as we scrape and scramble up the path no feet have trodden black.  You see, even Frost wrote with an understanding of retrospectiveness.   But while that works for poets writing poems, retrospect offers no balm while the wounds are being inflicted, muscles are straining, and tired eyes peer yet deeper into the gloom in search of some sign of the right path.

Overcome or be overcome.  I think of the wave that nearly toppled Ella and I one day as we stood waist deep in the cold Pacific surf.  We were overcome.  When we could see the waves coming, and we stood at just the right spot, we could overcome them with a bit of a hop and a giggle.  When we got turned around  however, the mischievous sea sent a small rolling wall to teach us a lesson about power and control.

Overcome or be overcome.  I thought how appropriate this theme was going to be, as I begin to train for my next race.  My foot has been injured for over 2 months and the nagging injury just won't heal.  For weeks, I've been telling myself that in about 2 weeks I'll be running again.  I'm still thinking that same thought today, but now even my eternal optimism has begun to get jaded.  When do I get to start being an overcomer?  When do I get to start training hard to prove that I'm an overcomer?  This is beginning to become one of those troublesome obstacles.  I feel the sea building behind me

I don't want a lingering injury obstacle.  I want a previous injury obstacle.  The obstacle that I have right now, is getting out of control.  The obstacle I want, can be managed by discipline and hard work.  I want to soar with wings like an eagle right through the winter on a training regimen that will be difficult yet allow me to find success in the end.  I don't want to think about having to wait on the Lord for 6 months so that I can say I soared to some other destination.  I know which obstacles I want to overcome.

And so, I think I'm on to something.  It's not really about the obstacle.  It's not really about overcoming the obstacle.  It's about attitude.  And, stop nodding your head in that self-possessed smug manner in which you are nodding it.  I know you knew that already.  So did I.  But doggone if it doesn't seem to come to mind at the right times, and if it does, it appears to be an impossible and unrealistic possibility.  Endure hardship with the right attitude and it will be alright in the end?  Come-on, Paul, really?  In whatever condition - content?  Let me pick and choose my obstacles and I'll choose the ones I know how to clear.

Do I trust the Creator to place appropriate obstacles in my path?  I guess not very well.  Being an overcomer isn't going to be easy.